Gonna Get My Mountain

Can I just say this up front? I am moving to Los Angeles, California!!!

Hah! That city of angels that is crying out to be loved!

There are so many thoughts and promises that go into this move. So I think I will just share some of them. The first being, that sometimes when God tells you something, he just wants you to know what is coming up! he is more worried about who you are and who you are becoming than where you are going. So in my life, he often allows me to forget the promises of where I am going so that I can become all that he already sees.

When I moved to Denver, I heard his sweet whisper say “harvest”. And because that man that I love is all about humans, I simply thought, I get to harvest lots of people for/with him. I get to bring a bunch of people into sweet relationship with this one that I love. When he started to whisper about L.A., he also started to remind me of all he had spoken about Denver. Because he is the best finisher of all time, I knew that Denver had to be finished in his eyes before L.A. could start.

Little did I know that the sweet harvest of rich fruit was actually just my heart. All that had been planted in that fertile ground needed some time and space to grow. And through some deep darkness and some exhilarating laughter (sometimes both, at the same time), Jesus so faithfully called forth a ton of the fruit from the springtime of Spain and G42.

And then he whispered L.A. (because when that city changes, the world changes) and I had to ask some questions. I had no idea what the timeline would look like, or how he would actually accomplish all he had promised for that city. So I have been asking since September of last year- wondering how and when and why with every step I have taken.

In January I bluntly asked… How to move when there is no home to end up in? How to move on just a promise? Does the promise also hold the money it takes to make it to the city of promise? Does the promise hold the cash it will take to go to silly cosmetology school and connect with all the right people? Is the promise to be talked about and shared or am I the swine wasting the pearls tossed before me? How to move when heart connections grow stronger and I could make a life here and raise strong children here and find my man here? Does the promise include all those heart desires? Or is the deep promise simply intimacy with the One my being was created for?

Thankfully, I have some superb people in my life who challenged me to move even when I didn’t know the answers. I had heard that God-man call my name, so I stepped forward. My first step onto the stormy waters looked like cleaning out my closet and giving away some of my clothes, some that I have had for years. The steps after looked like Jesus releasing me to sell all of my big things so I could just take my car and whatever I could carry with me. I wept as I sold the bookcase my parents had given me for high school graduation. I felt sick as I packed up my car for the long drive away from the gorgeous city of Denver. I bawled as I looked each of the sweet girls in our Monday night group in the eye and had the gift of giving and receiving honor. I questioned him as I quit both of my jobs and changed the oil on my 23 year old Honda Accord.

And then I moved. Not because all of my questions have been answered. Not because all the details had fallen into place. But mostly because Jesus looked at me and said ‘it is time’. As I have walked with him, I have noticed he is really good at timing.

So on March 2nd, I wrote this in my journal- wow wow wow! Walking in and activating the promises you gave me years ago. Ready to walk into that city of inheritance with all its good fruit and giants. Ready to sacrifice and give my life away until it feels as though I have none left. Ready to say yes beyond that lack into the cultivation and hard work it will take. Ready to sacrifice the beloved dream (cosmetology school) in obedience love to come more alive to the truth that all I actually want is perfect relationship with you!

I almost want to invite you, dear reader, into this crazy journey. And I am even tempted to invite you to L.A. I KNOW the cost. I KNOW what it takes to say yes to the crazy mystery. But I am fairly certain the mystery is worth the cost- the abundance is worth the loss.  Haha, I have to be certain, or I wouldn’t be changing my whole life.

I want you to know the exhilaration of complete abandon to his goodness. I want you to feel the gusts of the wind of his spirit as you fling your entire life into the hands of the One who made everything. It’s a rush! Filled with terrible pain and fulfillment beyond what you thought you could hold.

Will you say yes with me??